The art of not giving a f*@k

Excuse our language… Not wishing to offend. But we’re making a bid for personal freedom here. Do you often feel guilty, obligated and anxious or concerned about what other people think? Do you frequently slip into doing something you’d rather not, instead of saying ‘no’? Is your life centred around what you have to do rather than what you want to do? If so, read on… 

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We’ve recently been introduced to the book The Life-Changing Magic of Not Giving a F*@k by Sarah Knight. It’s straight to the point, it’s witty, it’s inspiring and it’s life affirming. Don’t be put off by the Americanisms or the bad language, the messages behind the words are so empowering for anyone who finds it hard to say ‘no’. She styles it as ‘simple, not-sorry method for mental decluttering’ and taking small, manageable steps towards changing your life. This no-holds-barred attitude enabled Sarah Knight to move from a career as a book editor in New York to living on a tropical island with her family in the Dominican Republic.

She starts by inviting you to tidy up ‘your fuck drawer’. Getting rid of socks you don’t wear or don’t like, then refolding the rest to look like little soldiers standing to attention. That way you can find at a glance the pair you fancy wearing that day. Sounds trivial? But apply this principle to the whole of your life… and you’ll not only do a huge clear-out of the rubbish you don’t need (the bread-making machine perhaps, books you’ll never read again, excess clothes, you name it), you’ll find yourself clearing your mind so that, just as you’ve ditched all your old socks, you start to ditch too many obligations and too much mental clutter.

Here are a few suggestions: jobs/projects you do to people please or gain the admiration of bosses, colleagues, family or friends; socialising with people to appear benevolent; eating things to appear to be gracious; putting up with behaviour from others you don’t like… You get the picture.

So what are the benefits of not cowtowing in these ways?

Not giving a f@*k means:

  • taking care of yourself first (like putting the oxygen mask on before you help anyone else on a plane)
  • allowing yourself to say no
  • releasing yourself from the worry, anxiety, fear and guilt associated with saying no
  • reducing mental clutter, freeing up space to truly enjoy all the things you do give a fig about.

This probably sounds selfish if you’re a ‘nice’ person. But it does create a better world for everyone around you. You’ll stop worrying about all the things you have to do and start focusing on the things you want to do. You’ll liberate yourself from guilt, anxiety, frustration and resentment. Free up time and mental space.

The author defines three sorts of people who don’t five a f@*k: children, assholes and… the enlightened. You don’t have to be rude and inconsiderate like the assholes, you need simply to learn to live in a childlike state of not giving a f*@k but with self-awareness. There are many things that as an enlightened person you will choose to do – like being on time perhaps, or writing thank you notes – not because you mind what other people think but because you want to. You will turn down the things you choose not to do with honesty and politeness, mitigating the potential for hurting the feelings of other people.

Here’s a fabulous flow chart Sarah Knight uses to encapsulate her principles…

The art of not giving a f@*k

Try applying the art of not giving a f*@k and you’re taking the first step towards a liberated, freer, less obligated life.

The Life-Changing Magic of Not Giving a F@*k by Sarah Knight

 

 

 

 

 

 

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